you didn't have anything like this happen to you today

Wow, what a time. So I get to the hair salon. Get this. It’s the wrong day. I was supposed to go tomorrow! It's true. It's written right there on my fridge. It says "Wednesday 11 am hair". Alright but I was such a tremendous idiot it was great. I walk in. Casually walk past the girl at the desk. Nope, I got this one. I pop up the stairs and there is Stephen snipping away on some woman. "You ready?" He just stands there and looks up at me like I’ve just hatched an alien baby. "You have an appointment for Wedesnday." "Yeah I know. Wait, what day is it today?" “Tuesday.” “Yes.” [brief pause...light bulb.] “Oh my god.” [laughter...alien baby scurries across floor and hides behind fake plant] My first feeling is irritation (with myself) over the fact that I would have to drive all that way at the same time tomorrow. (I need this haircut.) My next thought is that I’ve just used up my one outfit. What the hell am I going to wear when I come back tomorrow? (Maybe they won’t notice?) Fuck. So then on the way out I stop to chat up a friend/hair dresser. (He’s having a baby.) "You're having a baby. I heard." We talk a few minutes and then it occurs to me, “Wait, what are you doing right now? Do you have any time? I mean the baby isn't due until January, right?” “Sure, why don’t you get shampooed?” he said with a smile. It was like a miracle. Almost. A nearicle! Those words I can still hear in my head as if it were just today. Why don’t I get shampooed. Yeah, why don’t I? [that lightbulb didn't take half as long as the other one] And so I did. And this is great because now I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow (unless I want to).