Saturday, October 13, 2007

gypsy woman told my mother

I just had Cookie Crisps. First time. Not exactly a cereal I tend to buy. The time when I would have bought this cereal just happened to be the same one where I was making about two dollars a week. Actually, I wasn’t so much making it, as I was just getting it. From my parents. It was never clearly explained to me what exactly I was supposed to do, but I knew a good thing. So I just kept my mouth shut and went along with it. Maybe some sort of deal for not burning down the house or something. I don’t know. But I know I didn’t spend it on cereal. I had more important things to spend it on. Like cap guns. Cap guns were awesome. Probably still are. But I can’t be buying guns anymore. Because now I have more important things to be buying. Beer, for example, is a big one. But there are others.

Oh yeah, so the weirdest thing happened to me. You might be thinking it was at the usual spot where the weird things happen to me, at the giant supermarket in the giant strip center. Well, yes, and no. This time I was in a different part of the strip center. You see, it all began when I decided I would first go to the Radio Shack to get an electronic. Then after I’d got my electronic, I was walking the long stretch from the Radio Shack to the supermarket—hey, I’m not one of those people who drives across the parking lot from one store to another (even though it really is a huge parking lot and who could really object that much if I did? Like next time.) Anyway, so I’ve made it about half-way there when suddenly a woman’s voice calls out to me. I turn around and there is parked in front of me a rather fancy looking black SUV. I approach cautiously, as I sometimes do when called out to in giant parking lots after dark.

To my surprise it’s this perfectly nice looking woman with some kind of former Eastern bloc accent and five cute little girls in the car with her. My initial fear has now turned to a certain amount of enthusiasm because surely she is about to tell me some extraordinary but quite plausible situation. Like she’s just run away from her abusive husband, who also happens to be a vampire. Or she just discovered a car full of little girls and needs urgent parenting advice. Something. But then she starts into this story about not being paid until tomorrow and could I just lend her some. “I could write you an IOU. I just need help so the girls can have something to eat tonight.” Wait a minute. What? Are you for real? What century are we in? This is like a bad movie. I didn’t actually say all that. What I said was I didn’t have any cash on me, which was almost true, but if they really wanted something to eat I could use my parent’s credit card to get them something delicious.

“Cookie Crisps! They like Cookie Crisps,” she said turning toward the smaller girls in the back seat who nodded eagerly in approval. Anyway you see where this story is going. Came out. Car full of girls gone. And me writing a blog about Cookie Crisps at 2 am. Of course, not being stingy with my parent’s money, I also have some other stuff I don’t normally buy, but we’ll save it for another review. Oh, yeah. The crisps. They’re ok. But they aren’t kidding when they say crisps. They stay hard incredibly long after you put the milk on. When I say incredibly I mean, essentially, forever. Which probably means they’re not safe. But again, whatever. Anyhow, I think the second batch is probably softening by now. So I gotta go.


jake said...

Lucky you aren't female, and that the vehicle wasn't like the Bangbros. van or something. Shocking!

Cold Bacon said...